I have become quite a huge fan of Valve's Steam and I get excited every time I see them add a new game to their list. My most recent addition, Trials 2 Second Edition, took me back to my early gaming years with Excitebike.

Trials 2 brings the trick dirt bike games back with gorgeous 3d imagery and fun ragdoll effects. Despite being in 3d, the game is really just a side-scroller that has you manipulating the speed and angle of your bike to pass the most difficult tracks that I have ever played on a video game. It also contains quite a few fun achievements for you to unlock and obsess over. My favorite (and only) achievement so far is the "Broken every bone" achievement that I was awarded for sucking. It's obvious that the game feels pity for me and this achievement is its way of telling me how big of a loser I am. It may not be as blatant as that stupid dog from NES' Duck Hunt, but I still feel like a retard regardless.

Other Steam games (Team Fortress 2, Audiosurf, Peggle Deluxe and more) have gotten me to want to spread the love and cheer to all of my friends and try to entice each and every one of them to spend their hard-earned money on a game to play with me. Unfortunately, I did not feel that same desire to share Trials 2. Even if I did, I don't believe they would purchase it after hearing the sheer amount of expletives that I broadcast over our Ventrilo server every single time I mess up in the game. Seriously, I have owned dirt bikes in real life and I have never once had to do the retarded stuff that this game expects you to pull off. Dirt bikes are supposed to be about speed and agility, not flips and jump puzzles.

Trials 2 feels like anything but a dirt bike game. The best way I can explain it is to say that it would be like trying to do the Ninja Warrior course using only a dirt bike. Sounds impossible right? That's because it is! Well, some people out there who have NO lives could probably do it, but I have too many other better games that I want to spend my time with. I have never quit playing a game as fast as I quit playing Trials 2. So take my advice and do not buy this game. Save your money and wait for the next great Steam game.

I rate this game 5/10.

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Trials 2 Second Edition Review

I rate this game 5/10.