Here we are yet again, with the FlamingBaby bringing you our breakdown and predictions for the upcoming UFC 76 event. UFC was really kind in the naming of this one with "Knockout". If we were in charge of naming it, it would have been something along the lines of "UFC 76: Ultimate Horse Dick, Donkey Tail, Anal Rape". The main two fights are as unbalanced as putting my dead grandma in to fight Fedor Emelianenko while being chained to two starving dogs that have already tasted the flesh of man. We can definitely understand having a fight or two being unbalanced if they were on the undercard, but by putting two highly loved TUF contestants in to be destroyed by much better opponents is worse than going to Jena 6 with a hood on your head and noose in hand. Now that you know who are picks aren't going to be for the Forrest and Jardine fight, read on to find out what we think about the rest of this event.
Tyson Griffin vs Thiago Tavares
The night starts off with a very exciting lightweight match between Tyson Griffin and Thiago Tavares. Tavares, at just 22 years old, is one of the more promising up-and-comers in the ufc. He trains under Murilo Rupp's Ataque-Duplo, which is Porteguese gibberish for who the fuck knows what. Tavares has already established himself as one of the more dangerous submission fighters in the lightweight division, compiling a perfect 13-0 record. He is coming off a very impressive win over Jason Black via triangle choke, and will be looking to build momentum towards a title shot with a win over Griffin.
Tyson Griffin fights out of Santa Rosa California under Xtreme Couture. He has a record of 9-1 which includes wins over Clay Guida and Urijah Faber. Griffin is another promising newcomer who will be looking for a title shot with an impressive victory here. He sports a solid wrestling background, as well as some surprisingly good standup skills. Among his best weapons are his leg kicks, which were the subject of much praise from Joe Rogan. “Tyson Griffin’s got some sick legs! If he was a girl you’d say he has a badunkadunk!”
While Tavares certainly sports one of the better submission games in the ufc, I don't see this becoming a factor vs Griffin. Griffin has a distinct wrestling advantage, which means Tavares has as much a chance of taking this to the ground as I have of anal with Jessica Alba. Griffin will keep this fight standing, and pick Tavares apart. If the fight goes to the ground, Griffin is good enough in his submission defense to stay out of trouble. This fight ends with Griffin landing a solid uppercut, then finishing Tavares off with strikes.
Griffin by TKO round 3
Ryoto “Lullaby” Machida vs Kazuhiro Nakamura
Nakamura is a judo practitioner fighting out of Japan under the tutelage of Hidehiko Yushido. Known mostly for getting KOd after removing his gi vs Wanderlei Silva (idiot), he is one of the most underrated fighters in mma. Only losing to top caliber fighters, he has an 11-6 record which includes wins over the likes of Bustamante, Randleman, Vovchanchyn, and the guy who was KOd after kissing Heath Herring. Nakamura has top notch judo, and a very underrated standup game. He will be looking to make a huge statement in his ufc debut
Ryoto “Lyoto” Machida is a Shotokan karate fighter who trains out of Black House with the likes of Anderson Silva and Vitor Belfort. Known mostly for his wins over Rich Franklin and Bj Penn, Machida is one of the more promising up-and-comers in the ufc. Against Nakamura he will be looking to remove the moniker of being more boring than a trip to the dmv. Ryoto Machida can be loosely translated into "Eta kuram na smekh", which is the safe-word used to put River Tam to sleep in the movie Serenity. Yes, he is indeed that damn boring.
If I had to pick who the more technically sound fighter is, I’d go with Machida. His unorthodox standup is very effective, and he has a knack for making fighters miss. However, he hasn’t fought nearly the level of competition Nakamura has. Machida is also more passive than a stoned Quaker, and couldn’t finish a Happy Meal. I see this being a very close contest, with Nakamura receiving the nod based on aggression. The only drawback for Nak is any Machida fight is destined to be a snoozer, so I doubt he'll win the round-eyes over with this performance.
Nakamura by Decision
Diego “Dirty” Sanchez vs. Jon “Shit Break” Fitch
Known mostly as the winner of TUF season 1, Diego is perhaps the most promising fighter of the tuf generation. An amazing talent on the ground, Diego has proven his legitimacy with wins over Nick Diaz and Karo Parysian. He has also shown some improved standup, as displayed in KOing Joe Riggs and sending Karo’s tooth into the upper deck. Diego looks to rebound after his snoozer vs Josh "The Blanket" Koscheck, where he suffered from chlamydia at the hands of Ali Sonoma (Staph infection my ass)
Jon Fitch is a wrestler fighting out of the San Jose, California. Training with the American Kickboxing Academy alongside the likes of Mike Swick, Josh Koscheck, and Paul Buentello, Fitch has quietly amassed a very impressive 6-0 ufc record. While still relatively unknown, Fitch is one of the top fighters in a division that is already considered the most stacked in the ufc. He'll be looking to break out of obscurity with a win here.
I don’t see Fitch being able to keep up with Diego’s pace in this fight. I see this fight going similar to Diego vs Parysian, with Diego simply outworking Fitch. Fitch will put up a great fight, but he has folded under pressure in the past, as evidenced by his fight with Jeff Joslin. In that match, Fitch called a time-out after taking several punishing shots. Yes, the referee let him call a time-out to recover…
Dirty Sanchez by TKO round 3
Mauricio "Shogun" Rua vs "Curious" Forrest Griffin
The top light heavyweight in the world finally makes his ufc debut. For those who have never seen Shogun fight for Pride FC, you are in for a treat. Known as the so called “heir apparent” to Wanderlei Silva, Shogun didn’t make his presence known until the 2005 Pride Middleweight Grand Prix. In what was perhaps the most impressive “meteoric rise” of any fighter in mma’s history, Shogun went through Rampage, Little Nog, Overeem, and Arona to win the tournament. Since then his only blemish is a fluke broken arm vs Mark Roidman. Shogun will be out to prove he is the real #1 Light Heavyweight in mma.
As one of the most popular fighters to come out of tuf, Forrest Griffin is looking to put his name on the map with a huge win over Shogun. Forrest made his debut in the first season of the Ultimate Fighter, defeating Stefan Bonnar in one of the most memorable wars in ufc history. Since then he has been impressive, only losing to Tito Ortiz and Keith Jardine. Forrest is coming of a dominant unanimous decision over Hector Ramirez, and actually request to fight Shogun in order to put himself in line for a title shot
Run, Forrest, run! Ok, that was lame, but there is some wisdom in that suggestion. If Forrest hopes to make it the distance, he needs to get on his bike for this one, and counter an overaggressive Shogun. While Forrest can survive for a little while this way, it is only a matter of time before Shogun gets his hands on him. From that point on, this fight might as well be Mike Tyson vs a Fetus. And not just a regular fetus, but one of those crack baby fetuses that didn't have a chance at living in the first place. Even without stomps, Shogun’s ground and pound is second only to Fedor, and I see him finishing this fight from the top.
Shogun by TKO round 2
Chuck “The Ice Man” Liddell vs. “The Dean of Mean” Keith Jardine
Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell has been the face of the ufc for several years now. After spending time on the sidelines with Tito refusing to step into the cage with him, Chuck suffered his biggest setback vs Randy Couture, losing via TKO in the third at ufc 43. Since then, he has gone a tear, going undefeated until losing to Quinton “Rampage” Jackson via TKO in the first at ufc 71. Chuck is among the best in the world when it comes to pure punching power, and has without a doubt the best takedown defense in all of mma. He will be looking to put Jardine away in impressive fashion, which will set the stage for his showdown with Wanderlei Silva, perhaps the most anticipated fight in mma history
Sporting perhaps the rhymiest nickname in all of mma, Keith Jardine will be looking to bounce back from his humiliating defeat at the hands of Houston “We have a Problem” Alexander. First appearing as a heavyweight competitor in the second season of tuf, Jardine has been known as a dark horse in the light heavyweight division. With impressive victories over Wilson Gouveia and Forrest Griffin, Jardine had done nothing but impress before getting KOd by Ghetto Conehead (The loss to Bonnar doesn’t count. Fuck Cecil Peoples)
I think Jardine will put up a better fight than people think. He has some nasty leg kicks, and will look to keep Chuck at bay as long as possible. However, like with Forrest vs Shogun, I think it is only a matter of time till Chuck finds his range. Jardine carries his hands like a rock-em sock-em robot, and won’t be able to defend himself against Chuck’s bombs. I see this fight ending in the second round, with Jardine’s mouthpiece rolling across the canvas like a spare tire. However, since the Silva/Liddell fight is depending on this, I won’t be surprised if Jardine KOs him. This is because God hates me, and doesn’t want me to see the fight. Maybe if I stopped touching myself at night, God wouldn’t fuck me over so much…
Liddell by KO round 2
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